{"id":97757,"date":"2025-10-09T11:39:49","date_gmt":"2025-10-09T11:39:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/?p=97757"},"modified":"2025-10-09T11:39:49","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T11:39:49","slug":"old-relationship-dynamics-remain-even-as-women-change-outdated-money-trends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/?p=97757","title":{"rendered":"Old relationship dynamics remain \u2014 even as women change outdated money trends"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n \t<\/i> Read Time:<\/span>6 Minute, 2 Second <\/div>\n\n <\/div>
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When Taylor Swift marries Travis Kelce, pop culture will get a financial example you don\u2019t see every day.<\/p>\n

Both are ultra-rich and at the top of their fields, but Kelce, a Kansas City Chiefs football pro, has not made the same amount of money as his billionaire pop-star fianc\u00e9e.<\/p>\n

A wife in a heterosexual relationship earning more than her husband goes against\u00a0traditional gender roles, but the trend is becoming more common. The share of women who earn as much as or more than their husbands has tripled in the past 50 years 45% of wives in opposite-sex marriages bring in the same amount or more than their husbands in the United States, according to\u00a0Pew Research Center data\u00a0from 2023.<\/p>\n

Getting by on one income is hard, so there are many benefits in women having more access to work and pay equity kids even tend to be more successful and have more egalitarian relationships if they have a working mom, according to Dr. Megan McCoy, a financial therapist and associate professor of personal financial planning at Kansas State University.<\/p>\n

But the change from old-fashioned norms can lead to \u201cgrowing pains\u201d for some people, and couples may need to be intentional to keep relationships strong while going against expectations, said Brian Page, a financial counselor and founder of Modern Husbands, a financial and domestic labor coaching service.<\/p>\n

Old roles, new demands<\/h2>\n

Before she was a music icon, Taylor Swift was a little girl, and before he was one of the greatest tight ends in history, Travis Kelce was a little boy. And like most people, they were probably given direct and indirect messages about what they should aspire to, said Dr. Sonya Lutter, professor of practice and director of financial health and wellness at Texas Tech University.<\/p>\n

Fortunately, Swift and Kelce seem to share similar values and are publicly supportive of each other\u2019s careers, but for many people, ideas about what a man or woman is supposed to do can be an obstacle, Lutter said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMoney and masculinity are still married in 2025,\u201d Page said, citing\u00a0Pew Research Center data\u00a0that shows both men and women say providing financially for the family is a \u201cvery important\u201d aspect of being a good husband or partner.<\/p>\n

Cost of living has outpaced income, however, so the idea of having a sole breadwinner is outdated in many places, McCoy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s a dislocation between societal expectations and modern-day realities, and there are men and women experiencing growing pains from that dislocation,\u201d Page added.<\/p>\n

For men, the disparity between expectation and reality can mean a crisis of identity. If society praises you mainly for your ability to provide financially and that position is threatened, what do you offer to give you purpose in your family?<\/p>\n

And for women, juggling work with lingering pressures to be the primary caregiver is often an impossible balancing act that leaves a feeling of failure no matter what.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen women do outearn their husbands, they are still doing more than half of the household work,\u201d Lutter said.<\/p>\n

Remnants of gender expectations still exist, even while families face new demands.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe problem with that is that it\u2019s, it\u2019s based on societal norms, not necessarily what is rational, not necessarily what makes the most financial sense, and not necessarily what makes a couple the happiest,\u201d Page said.<\/p>\n

Conflict on both sides<\/h2>\n

Men tend to be happy when their wives\u2019 earnings fall in a particular range, according to research.<\/p>\n

A husband\u2019s psychological distress is often high if his wife makes no money, and gradually eases as her salary goes up, an\u00a0October 2019 study\u00a0found. Men seem to be happiest when their wives\u2019 income reaches about 40% of their own, and then their happiness declines beyond that threshold.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe also see that when women make more than their husbands, there\u2019s more arguments about money in the household,\u201d\u00a0Lutter said.<\/p>\n

Men may feel threatened in their own success \u2013\u2013 which is particularly distressing if they have been raised to see work as their top measure of worth \u2013\u2013 and women may feel conflict about the division of household labor, McCoy said.<\/p>\n

Not only are women more likely to be going to work and continuing to care for kids, managing the house and taking on mental labor, but they also aren\u2019t getting more leisure time the more money they make, McCoy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cWomen are less likely to have leisure, especially outside the house. Women\u2019s leisure tends to be reading a book or gardening at the house, where the kids can still steal her attention, whereas men\u2019s tend(s) to be outside the house and more often,\u201d McCoy said. \u201cNot only is there a chore gap \u2013\u2013 there\u2019s also a leisure gap that it needs to be addressed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Arguments can stem from both people feeling that their plates are full, Lutter said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere seems to be the conflict of, \u2018Well, I need to focus on work, because I\u2019m making the most income,\u2019 and \u2018I don\u2019t have time to call the house cleaner, even if I\u2019m not the one doing the cleaning,\u2019\u201d Lutter said. \u201cBoth people are feeling that, and so there\u2019s just that conflict of, \u2018what are we going to do?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Planning as a team<\/h2>\n

Many biases around gender roles and money are at some level unconscious, so a good place to start is by talking about it, McCoy said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe No. 1 thing is open and honest conversations around money being a metaphor for power, control and success,\u201d she said. \u201cHave conversations early in a relationship about what does this mean? What does it mean if I were to be successful? What does it mean if you decide to take a step back in your role? What does that mean for you as a person in our relationship?\u201d<\/p>\n

Lutter recommends scheduling time to talk about money and gender roles regularly \u2013\u2013 maybe around the new year or around tax season, when you are already looking at finances.<\/p>\n

Lives change, and so what makes sense financially or when it comes to who does dishes or who takes out the trash may change, and it helps to know you are going to come back to it, Lutter said.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust make sure that you\u2019re talking about, \u2018Well, are you happy about what we\u2019re doing? Is there anything that you want to change?\u2019 And maybe one person wants to change and the other person doesn\u2019t want to change, but at least you\u2019re talking about it,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n

Initially, Page was the primary breadwinner in his relationship. But he accomplished many things he wanted to in his career, and now his wife makes most of the money while he takes on a lot of the household responsibilities, he said.<\/p>\n

The dynamics change, but the key is to work as a team so that both partners can excel, he said.<\/p>\n

And as Kelce\u2019s and Swift\u2019s individual careers continue to evolve, Page thinks it\u2019s a wonderful example for the world to see them cheering one another on.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe\u2019s so happy for her,\u201d he said. \u201cI think that is important for people to see.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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\"OldWhen Taylor Swift marries Travis Kelce, pop culture will get a financial example you don\u2019t see every day.Both are ultra-rich and at the top of their fields, but Kelce, a Kansas City Chiefs football pro, has not made the same amount of money as his billionaire pop-star fianc\u00e9e.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_2277560469115098_106292521332774":"","twitter_aToxNzczMzI3Njk4OTg4ODUxMjAxOw==_1773327698988851200":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2236,1370,10162,10163,10,9,2296,5602],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-97757","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hp-lifestyle-2","category-lifestyle","category-old-relationship","category-outdated-money-trends","category-politics","category-popular","category-relationships","category-women"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97757","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=97757"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/97757\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=97757"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=97757"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=97757"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}