{"id":107998,"date":"2025-12-22T04:17:34","date_gmt":"2025-12-22T04:17:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/?p=107998"},"modified":"2025-12-22T04:17:34","modified_gmt":"2025-12-22T04:17:34","slug":"fussy-eaters-and-tv-remote-hogs-how-to-avoid-family-rows-over-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sotnews.agency\/?p=107998","title":{"rendered":"Fussy eaters and TV remote hogs: How to avoid family rows over Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Christmas is billed as the most wonderful time of the year \u2013 but the day itself could have all the ingredients needed for a family row.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a reason you haven\u2019t seen some of these people all year \u2013 you just know someone is going to criticise your cooking, there will be a heated debate over dinner and a tussle over the TV remote.<\/p>\n

We spoke to psychologists and parenting experts for their top tips on how to keep the Christmas spirit and avoid a family fallout.<\/p>\n

1. Give up on the perfect Christmas<\/h2>\n
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Begin by refusing to chase the idealised movie version of Christmas, says psychotherapist and author Philippa Perry.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to lower the expectations of what Christmas gives us, and then we won\u2019t be so disappointed in it,\u201d she told\u00a0CBeebies\u2019 Parenting Helpline podcast.<\/p>\n

Unspoken rules like \u201cwe must see everybody\u201d only add to the stress, as does social media pressure over what the picture-perfect Christmas Day should look like.<\/p>\n

Natalie Costa, a parenting coach, former teacher and host of the Connected podcast, encourages people to remember that nobody\u2019s life looks the way it does online. \u201cBehind all the happy family pictures are children \u2013 and adults \u2013 who\u2019ve had big meltdowns,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

This reality check can help reduce guilt over not measuring up.<\/p>\n

Instead of trying to compete with others, she suggests approaching Christmas with the attitude of: \u201cWhat does my good-enough look like?\u201d<\/p>\n

2. Don\u2019t compete on gifting<\/h2>\n
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Exchanging presents is a huge part of Christmas. If there are young kids in the house, giddy early wake-up calls are a given.<\/p>\n

But sometimes gift-giving can feel competitive, especially among extended family where budgets can differ, says Prof Perry.<\/p>\n

The best way to handle this isn\u2019t to try to compete or police kids\u2019 relationships with adults, but reframe the situation.<\/p>\n

She encourages parents to \u201clet go\u201d if grandparents, aunties and uncles choose to spoil young ones.<\/p>\n

Costa adds that this can later become a useful way to discuss values with children \u2013 emphasising that bigger presents don\u2019t reflect love.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou cannot buy love,\u201d Prof Perry says. \u201cWhat children like is your attention and being played with. That is better than any gift.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Prepare for awkward comments<\/h2>\n
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Complicated family dynamics don\u2019t disappear just because it\u2019s Christmas and festive classics are playing.<\/p>\n

One minute you\u2019re merrily drinking mulled wine, the next being asked why you\u2019re not happily married or whether you are planning children.<\/p>\n

Any resentments, tensions, and differences in values will remain, with the added pressure to fulfil a fantasy image of happy families.<\/p>\n

Passive-aggressive comments often come from someone else\u2019s stress and insecurity, says psychotherapist Sarah Turner. This doesn\u2019t excuse the behaviour, but can make it feel less personal.<\/p>\n

When we feel stung, our instinct is to defend or withdraw, but Turner advises pausing first. \u201cYou have the power to choose how to respond.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another tip is to ask for clarification. Often, loved ones will reframe what they said rather than repeat it, as they are likely to know it\u2019s a loaded comment.<\/p>\n

If there\u2019s a \u201ckernel of truth\u201d in what they say, then acknowledging this can help \u201cemotions de-escalate because they feel heard,\u201d Turner adds.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean you agree or give in \u2013 it\u2019s simply letting that person know you understand where they\u2019re coming from. In the heat of family dynamics, this can make all the difference.<\/p>\n

3. Make it clear who\u2019s in charge<\/h2>\n
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Children are naturally excited on Christmas day \u2013 but that burst of energy often means big exhausted emotions later on, tantrums and tears included.<\/p>\n

To prevent other family members from stepping in to try to manage this, Costa suggests having a simple conversation beforehand to establish the rules.<\/p>\n

She advises something like: \u201cI know it [how we parent] may be different to what you did\u2026 What helps us most is keeping things consistent, so if anything comes up, leave it with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Have a few simple non-negotiables, such as screen-time limits and any essential safety boundaries.<\/p>\n

Some families also find it useful to have something light-hearted to ease the pressure, explains Costa. One used the codeword \u201csmelly bananas\u201d to signal that things were getting too much.<\/p>\n

Whoever\u2019s home you\u2019ll be visiting, managing expectations is crucial. Let children know who will be there, what the day will look like, and what they can do if they start to feel overloaded.<\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t comment on food choices<\/h2>\n
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Christmas dinner often includes foods such as Brussels sprouts, red cabbage and turkey, which we rarely eat the rest of the year.<\/p>\n

Some adults and many children simply don\u2019t enjoy these foods.<\/p>\n

What we call \u201cfussiness\u201d with a disapproving tone is often anxiety and sensitivity, says consultant counselling psychologist Dr Ritika Suk Birah. The key to an enjoyable meal is to remove the emotional charge.<\/p>\n

Offer a few predictable options, normalise different preferences, and don\u2019t turn food into a moral issue.<\/p>\n

\u201cFor adults, autonomy is essential; provide alternatives without commentary,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

For children who may be facing things like sprouts for the first time, a \u201csafe plate\u201d alongside festive foods works well, something familiar that grounds them so they can explore new foods at their own pace.<\/p>\n

Agree a TV plan beforehand<\/h2>\n
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TV can be central to Christmas family time, often when stuffed full of food and slightly sozzled.<\/p>\n

But disagreements over what to watch are common.<\/p>\n

Older relatives often want shared traditions; younger people want autonomy and novelty, especially in the YouTube age.<\/p>\n

The best approach is to decide the viewing plan before emotions are high, says Dr Birah. Agree on a simple rotation: one shared programme, one independent choice and a set period where screens are put away.<\/p>\n

If the idea of watching \u201cold people TV\u201d is causing trouble with your teens, acknowledge their perspective, says Costa.<\/p>\n

Something like: \u201cI get it. YouTube is exciting and fun, and you really enjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then explain what else is happening: \u201cRight now we are spending time together as a family. This part matters too.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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